Walk on Water

I’m treading water

Whenever I think of you

And the way you walked away from me

 

It was nighttime full moon low above the skyline of the end of the world lazily, softly curling waves instead of loudly buzzing concrete haze

A gull or two black against the stars maybe upside-down like king’s herons, like cut out copies of their daytime selves

My skirt heavied by the salt and sea liking up my legs

You would turn saddened and blue to walk on water like glass like ice like the bard of the end of times you’d sing me a lullaby to ease the pain and tell me you’d always love me you’d always care and how the time had come to part ways

And I wouldn’t be fine though I’d know it’s for the best

I’d say I would go and find that alternate universe where we’d work out where you’d always stay where there’s always love and never leave and I would stay there for all time to come

You’d smile your crooked loving smile and say you’d meet me there

You’d turn and walk on water like glass like ice like the waves were yours and they’d come to take you away the last of your kind the brave and the good and the fair

And I’d walk I’d run I’d tread water to get to you

But the currents would be on your team and the salt and the sea would splash around me draw me back and drag me away

I’d fight to reach you but you’d walk on water like glass

I’d scream your name and curse the wind

You’d turn around say you’d never live through one single day not thinking of me you’d say you had to leave and you’d turn and walk on water like glass and you’d hum my song quietly breaking my heart as yours would break too

I’d fight and I’d cry and never reach your silhouette against the silver moon and never wrap my arms around you not even one last time and you’d walk and weep for the love we’d lost we were not able to hold on to and you would be brave and good and fair for all times and as you’d miss me day in day out for the rest of your life I would miss you we’d find new loves and would have learned to hold on to them and we’d remember and reminisce our time together and we’d be fine and happy in our new loves and lives

And the gulls would pass above our heads every silvery full moon high above the gently curling sea were the skyline is the surf and the air sounds like the sweetest salt and we’d be cut-out copies of our long past selves in the love we’d lost and we’d walk the water like glass like ice on our separate ways forever entwined by the end of the world.

 

But, it never happened that way. You’re not brave and good and fair. You are a coward. You couldn’t face me to say you didn’t want to stay.

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Farewell for the Good

You always were good

A kind, and a good with so much love

Filled up to the very top with good

soles to scalp to the tip of your hair, goodness

born to help, trained to cure, the remedy for the broken and sick, home for the lost and refuge for the loosing

just good

from the first subtle glance, to the very last tear

You always were good

Your love was a shiny, brand new bulb in an empty, dusty house

skeletons rejoiced, they danced in the shadows of your light, the vivacious, slightly insane dance of the long dead

Just as everyone who met you they fell for your honest smile, your words, your kindness

your good

They all knew and so did I, you always were good

Half the love I had for you was envy of your good

my dark hungered for a bite off your kindness

a strand of your goodness

just a glimmer of you was enough to poison my stream and drive my search for the better me, for my own good

you always were meant to be somebody’s good

I wanted to be that somebody

but my dark

My dark lingered in your good

My dark emanated through your good

Goodness, I wanted to be your good so bad

For a slight moment in time, I think I had you convinced that I too could be good

I had you fooled for a second, I know

But you saw my dark

my inevitable wrong

my incurable lost

But you couldn’t help it then could you?

couldn’t stop and think and see and feel that I will never be your good?

Never your counterpart.

Never your right.

You set out to cure me, be my remedy, fix my broken, medicate my sick, guide my lost, win my loosing

You always were good

I knew in staying would be your demise

I know in loving you with all my heart I would break you sometime

I knew in staying would be my end

I know in loving you with all my heart would be my breaking in time

When i left I turned to see you cry

take in your sad

take in your hurt and defeated

take in your pain and depleted

I took in your dark and your wrong

so that you could be good again

I always was the wrong

You always will be the good

fare well

On the day the great tree fell

on the day the great tree fell
birds laid down in the tall grass
their lament was to be heard all across town
they sang of flowers in spring – the blossoms so fragile
like sweet brides’ dresses they swayed
pastel dreams of lovely auguries
summer time greens and hot humid night times
like lovers finding their cover under a jade umbrella
to kiss and wait for the downpour never to end
red and brown memories of of long foggy walks
of spidery silk with pearly white beads
a ray glides through with golden promises
first crystals and snowflakes like silver bells
crunching softly under the squirrels feet
silent – so silent and peaceful as the world sleeps
Why did They tear it down?
their tears seem to ask.
and the Earth cries with them

Dark is the pit that I plunged into

Dark is the pit that I plunged into
Deepest deepness revives my darlingest fears
Doubtful one but a fool dares trust
Dusk to offer light to where there is no lightness
Dusk can’t bring solace to strife thus soulless
Distance locks the darkest depths within my chest
Dreams of dreams long past never true

Walking Solo

Moon so full
The streets so dull
So dull and full of nothing
I seem to call
I scheme to fall
In everlasting un-love
Not hate for all
Note: hate – recall
Just sweet ardent indifference
You stood I saw
You man of straw
In fields of dying amber
Under the moon
Undone so soon
Never one of much composure
You waved a paw
You nodded and saw
Me staring crudely at you
I knew you so
Abjectly low
My turning from you must seem
Your heart, you cried
Your brain, you sobbed
And fiercely wanted ‘home’
More brave to be
More strong and flee
Your strawly tinnen echo
I heard your plea
Your voice’s with me
Every sleep and waking hour
I did not help
Ignored the yelp
Not again I murmured growling
Walked my step
On silver and wet
On the moon lit bricken road